A New Year......so many resolutions, a new outlook, and endless possibilities. Why is it that I am sitting at my desk with such a heavy heart, so very full of sadness. We are not even one week into this new year and I feel surrounded by upheaval. This little bakery that I hold so dear to my heart may be in jeopardy! Issues with local departments that do not make any sense to me considering they were the very first people I contacted when I set out on this journey! I have a State License, doesn't that "trump" the town? Hmmm.....I am so full of questions but do not really know where to get the answers. I guess the easiest way to sum it all up is that I am in desperate need of a new kitchen, which is not an easy thing to find! I had looked and have been looking in the past year for a new location. I love the kitchen I have but it was lent to me as a favor, a gesture of kindness and now the demands that are being placed on the owners of this kitchen leave me with my mouth agape. I do not bake everyday, just once a week. Granted I bake from sun-up till sun-down on that one day and of course the holidays make for a bit crazier schedule. The nice thing about this lovely kitchen of mine is I was able to use it when ever I wanted, no questions asked no explanations needed. I fit it into my schedule, I did not have to work my schedule around specific times or days! I just cannot in good faith put my kitchen owners through this craziness that is being asked of them. This battery of requirements and tests for permits that were never disclosed at the beginning. I had figured that when I asked the question "What else do I need to do, step by step?" I would have been told at that moment not two years later! I have customers, I have loyal patrons who look for ME at the market and at the stores I sell to! It is a stabbing feeling to even imagine loosing those people, but even more terrifying is the thought of not being able to be part of the most amazing group of people at the Coventry Farmers Market. They took me under their wing and gave me the courage to take that first step, that leap of faith. I have always known that no matter what they have always had their hand on my shoulder, supporting and cheering for me.
I feel like there has to be a positive through all of this. I am a firm believer that people come into our lives for a reason, whether it is good or bad there is always a reason. I am finding that through the farmers market I have found some of the best people. I have received more support from these people over the past few days and I am still in awe. It is a connection, a bond that is created with people that see the same things as you, they understand and you feel like you fit. I have found that in the people I have known and worked beside over the past two years and all of the amazing CRFM followers. I received an email from a wonderful amazing women whom I had the pleasure of working with, and this is what she wrote "I still have faith that 2010 will bring good things. I really believe everything happens for a reason, only to bring us some opportunity in our future that we maybe weren't expecting." I will be repeating that over and over in my mind because the complex simplicity of her words will lead me in the correct direction to the next path that will continue this journey.
I will keep you all my friends posted and I appreciate you all more than you will ever know. I will still be baking because it is what I love, my passion; unfortunately I just cannot bake in my little approved commercial kitchen which is a stated requirement to attend the market. You will just have to stop in for a cup of coffee and a scone as a guest and not a customer. I am not giving up my search for another kitchen so keep your eye out for me, I may surprise you sometime soon. I will still be here and I will try and be more regular with my posts. Maybe I will try and do a recipe once a week??